Big Dreams

I want to perform on Broadway. All that I've ever wanted to do with my life is something with music. I love the performing arts. In fact, I love the arts, in general. 

Oftentimes I think of the stage as my home. I love to sit in an auditorium all alone and wander around the house, the stage, and the catwalk. There's a sense of peace that I find when I enter that building that I just can't explain. I could sit there and gaze and dream for hours on end.

I used to tell people that I wanted to go into the music world, but all that anyone seems to ever want to tell me is how hard it is to get there. I don't think people realize how discouraging that is. So I stopped telling people. People always seem to say that if that's what I want to do that I should do it, but that I should have a backup plan, thinking that they are encouraging me. But the truth is, I know that I should have a backup plan, in fact, I currently have several. And to me, when that's all someone says, they're saying that I can't do it, that I'm not talented enough. It's another way of crushing someone's hopes and dreams without being mean and upfront.

The only thing they had to add to their statement to encourage me was, "You can do it” and to believe the words they were saying. My parents are the exception to this. I've hinted at them that I wanted to do something with music and they said exactly that with the added " you can do it". They always tell me that I can do anything I want to because I'm talented enough. That right there motivates me to push harder.

Ever since I was little, all I can remember ever wanting to be was a singer. Every car trip home from the valley consisted of me belting out my favorite Beatles songs. The older I got, the more I learned about other areas of the performing arts. In preschool I began to draw. My brothers taught me how to draw animals and people. In kindergarten I gained an interest for musical instruments. I was in music class with Mr. Goodman. We walked in the classroom to an arrayment of musical instruments lined up across the floor. From flutes to tuba's everything you could imagine lay right in front of me. I began learning the piano in 1st grade. Also in elementary school, I gained an interest for acting through the Missoula's Children Theater. My first audition was terribly discouraging however because my twin brother made it and I did not. I was a shy little tyke. During auditions I stood in fear of the adults and other children watching me. I looked around at what seemed to me was hundreds of kids standing in the same line I was. I stood silently, dreading the moment when the people in charge would come up to me and make me say my name or make me sing a song with a group of other children, sticking their ear close to me so they could listen to my voice. Only with encouragement from my parents I was able to audition again the next year and make it into the production. When I was entering middle school, I gained an interest for dancing, although too shy to ever act on it until freshman year of high school.

Even with all my years of putting these skills into practice I still lack confidence. In the beginning stages of practicing for our Mary Poppins Musical I was too afraid to act in front of Mrs. Caffey and Mr. Gardner, fearing they would judge me. So I hid behind my book until I became more comfortable with them and with my role. But looking back, I know that I always had it in me. Yes, I needed instruction and teaching from them, but I'm not as bad as I thought I was. The only reason I know this is because of the many compliments I have received from people on how good of a job I did in the musical. Someone even suggested that I could get a full-ride scholarship because of it, however I highly doubt that. 

I want to perform on Broadway. Not because I want fame and glory. I simply want to share stories and change people's lives. I want the thrill of performing on stage to be an active part of my life.

I love music. I love the performing arts. If I still want to perform on Broadway later in life, then I will! I want to write so much more, but I just can't write now (see what I did there). But I will achieve my potential. Whatever I choose to do with my life, I will be successful, you can be certain of that.